Everyone
Down at Squawk News
Loved Christmas a lot . . .
But were certain
The 吃瓜直播
Did NOT!
鈥淭he 吃瓜直播 would have Christmas abolished!
All the carols unsung, all the cr猫ches demolished!
When you hear 鈥楬appy Holidays,鈥� it鈥檚 an insult!
And we know who to blame 鈥� it鈥檚 the 吃瓜直播鈥檚 fault!鈥�
And the pundit Bill Grinch, a well-known Squawk News host,
Truly hated the 吃瓜直播 cause the most.
As he scowled and he frowned and he sneered with a pout,
He exclaimed, 鈥淭here鈥檚 just one holiday we care about!鈥�
And the more Bill Grinch thought of the Christmastime war,
The more that he thought, 鈥淲e can stand for no more!
鈥淲hy for many long years we鈥檝e put up with it now,
We MUST win the war on Christmas!
...But HOW?鈥�
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
BILL GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
鈥淚 know just what to do!鈥� he exclaimed with a laugh.
And he quickly assembled his interns and staff.
And he chuckled and clucked, 鈥淲hat a tour de force!
We鈥檒l assemble a team and go right to the source!
A Squawk News Expos茅! Yes! We鈥檒l show everyone!
That the 吃瓜直播鈥檚 Enemy Number One.鈥�
At the 吃瓜直播, windows glowed with warm lights.
While their lawyers worked hard to defend civil rights.
The Squawk News van pulled up and began to unpack.
And they brought in a Santa, with coal in his sack.
鈥淲hen Santy Claus tells them this year they鈥檝e been naughty
They鈥檙e bound to get angry, or violent, or haughty!
And once people see that they鈥檙e mean and unpleasant,
It鈥檚 then we鈥檒l reveal that we brought them a present!
A beautiful Christmas tree, gold, green, and red!
They鈥檒l explode when they see it, just watch!鈥� Bill Grinch said.
鈥淎nd when they get mad the whole country will see,
Just how much they hate Christmas!鈥� he cackled with glee.
So they pushed through the door with their cameras running,
Their Santa ho-ho-ing, their drummer boy drumming.
As the 吃瓜直播 workers jumped to their feet,
All the Squawk crew got ready to broadcast and tweet.
But then what occurred 鈥� to Bill Grinch鈥檚 surprise,
Why, the 吃瓜直播 staff all gave happy cries.
鈥淟ook, it鈥檚 Santa!鈥� said one, with a big, friendly smile.
鈥淲ow, cool tree!鈥� said another, 鈥淐ome in for a while!
We were just sitting down to our holiday feast.
Have some egg nog and cookies, or even roast beast!鈥�
鈥淚 don鈥檛 understand,鈥� Bill Grinch said, his mouth gaping.
鈥淲e know you hate Christmas! That鈥檚 the reason we鈥檙e taping!鈥�
But the staffers just laughed. 鈥淲hy, that鈥檚 not true at all!
We鈥檒l defend every holiday, major or small!
We鈥檝e even helped public school students hand out
Christmas candy canes coupled with letters devout.
In fact, we love Christmas, and Hanukkah too!
And Kwanzaa and Solstice, if that鈥檚 what you do.
But our great Constitution forbids one misdeed:
Official promotion of religious creeds.
For as long as the government remains unbiased,
The wall of separation will be the highest.
And what happened then?
Well, the legends all say
That at Squawk News their hearts grew three sizes that day.
And the minute that happened, Bill Grinch realized
That the whole Christmas fight was sensationalized.
鈥淢aybe Christmas,鈥� he thought, 鈥渋sn鈥檛 under attack.
Maybe 吃瓜直播 staff are on the right track.
For it鈥檚 only when government鈥檚 out of the way
That all can celebrate freely their holidays.鈥�
And the minute his heart didn鈥檛 feel quite so tight,
Bill Grinch decided to call it a night.
He turned to the camera and said, 鈥淣o news here.鈥�
鈥淭here鈥檚 no War on Christmas; there鈥檚 nothing to fear.鈥�
May all your holiday wishes, no matter how unlikely, come true.
Love, the 吃瓜直播
Learn More 吃瓜直播 the Issues on This Page
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Press ReleaseMay 2025
Free Speech
Religious Liberty
Aclu Moves To Dismiss Lawsuit That Seeks To Punish Non-profit Advocacy Against Religious Activities In Oklahoma Schools. Explore Press Release.吃瓜直播 Moves to Dismiss Lawsuit That Seeks to Punish Non-Profit Advocacy against Religious Activities in Oklahoma Schools
OKLAHOMA CITY 鈥� Today, the Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) filed a motion to dismiss a lawsuit against it by the Oklahoma State Department of Education (OSDE). FFRF sent letters to public schools in Oklahoma objecting to religious activities, prompting State Superintendent Ryan Walters and the Oklahoma Department of Education to file a 鈥淪LAPP鈥� suit seeking to punish its constitutionally protected speech. The state鈥檚 Department of Education has failed to identify any actual violation of law. 鈥淲e are proud of the work we are doing to protect the rights of conscience of public school children in Oklahoma,鈥� said Annie Laurie Gaylor, FFRF co-president. 鈥淭his frivolous lawsuit by Ryan Walters seeks to silence FFRF, and we are not going to allow that to happen.鈥� FFRF is represented by the 吃瓜直播 and the 吃瓜直播 of Oklahoma. This 鈥淪trategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation鈥� (SLAPP) seeks to chill the free speech and petition rights of FFRF. SLAPP suits are used to weaponize the legal system to punish and silence constitutionally protected speech. 鈥淎dvocacy organizations have the right to criticize government policy and push for change,鈥� said Megan Lambert, legal director of the 吃瓜直播 of Oklahoma. 鈥淭his lawsuit is just another in a long line of political stunts by OSDE as it seeks to silence and punish dissent. We will vigorously defend FFRF鈥檚 First Amendment rights against the Department鈥檚 abuse of the legal process.鈥� 鈥淥ur client has not violated any law by speaking out against religious activities in Oklahoma public schools,鈥� said Vera Eidelman, senior staff attorney with the 吃瓜直播鈥檚 Speech, Privacy, and Technology Project. 鈥淭his lawsuit has one goal: to chill our client鈥檚 ability to petition the government. This is an abusive legal tactic intended to punish people and organizations for speaking out and fighting back against government policies.鈥� The lawsuit was filed in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Oklahoma. The motion can be viewed online here. -
Press ReleaseApr 2025
Religious Liberty
Aclu Urges Supreme Court To Reject Mandatory Opt-outs From Maryland School District鈥檚 Inclusive English Language Arts Curriculum. Explore Press Release.吃瓜直播 Urges Supreme Court to Reject Mandatory Opt-Outs from Maryland School District鈥檚 Inclusive English Language Arts Curriculum
WASHINGTON 鈥� The 吃瓜直播 and 吃瓜直播 of Maryland filed an amicus brief with the U.S. Supreme Court today in Mahmoud v. Taylor, urging the court to reject a challenge to a Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS) policy barring opt-outs from its inclusive English Language Arts (ELA) curriculum. Through children鈥檚 literature, the ELA curriculum acquaints students with a diversity of viewpoints and people in their community, including LGBTQ peers and their families. The brief argues that, because the 鈥渘o opt-out鈥� policy is religion-neutral and applies regardless of the reason for objection, the policy should not be analyzed under a 鈥渟trict scrutiny鈥� legal standard and should instead be subject to a more lenient 鈥渞ational basis鈥� review, which is easily satisfied in the case. Although MCPS previously allowed opt-outs for any reason from portions of the ELA curriculum featuring storybooks with LGBTQ characters and themes, the growing number of opt-outs proved be disruptive and divisive. Teachers were forced to divert time and resources to create alternative lessons for students who opted out, and many students simply did not attend school at all for the day. In addition, the opt-outs stigmatized LGBTQ students and those with LGBTQ family members. As a result, MCPS properly barred all ELA opt-outs, preventing further disruption to the classroom environment and the educational mission of the ELA curriculum. The decision prompted a group of parents to sue, asserting a violation of their rights under the Free Exercise Clause of the First Amendment and other constitutional provisions. 鈥淩eligious liberty is fundamentally important, but it doesn鈥檛 force public schools to exempt students from secular lessons that don鈥檛 align with their families鈥� religious views,鈥� said Daniel Mach, director of the 吃瓜直播鈥檚 Program on Freedom of Religion and Belief. 鈥淢andating opt-outs would wreak havoc on public schools, tying their hands on basic curricular decisions, stoking divisiveness and disruption, and undermining a core purpose of public education 鈥� to prepare students to live in our pluralistic society.鈥� 鈥淚n a time of ever-increasing polarization in our country, exemptions that would require schools to allow children to refuse exposure to materials and curriculum about people from various backgrounds is divisive and harmful,鈥� said Deborah Jeon, legal director for the 吃瓜直播 of Maryland. 鈥淥ur education system should be one that embraces differences as an opportunity to foster understanding and bring people together. Anything else would send ripples of censorship across the country, negatively impacting countless communities and children who deserve a balanced education.鈥� -
Press ReleaseApr 2025
Religious Liberty
Oklahoma Faith Leaders, Education Advocates, And Parents Urge Supreme Court To Block Nation鈥檚 First Religious Public Charter School. Explore Press Release.Oklahoma Faith Leaders, Education Advocates, and Parents Urge Supreme Court to Block Nation鈥檚 First Religious Public Charter School
WASHINGTON, D.C. 鈥� A group of Oklahoma faith leaders, public education advocates, and public-school parents 鈥� who are among the plaintiffs in a lawsuit to stop Oklahoma鈥檚 creation of the nation鈥檚 first religious public charter school 鈥� today urged the U.S. Supreme Court to protect religious freedom and public education by affirming that charter schools are public schools that must be secular and open to all students. In an amicus brief filed today in Oklahoma Statewide Charter School Board v. Drummond, the group explained that the Oklahoma Supreme Court correctly ruled last year that Oklahoma鈥檚 charter schools are public schools and, as governmental entities, must abide by the U.S. Constitution鈥檚 protections for religious freedom and church-state separation. Therefore, the proposed St. Isidore of Seville Catholic Virtual School, which intends to indoctrinate students in one religion, cannot operate as a public charter school. The amici, which include OKPLAC (the Oklahoma Parent Legislative Advocacy Coalition) and eight Oklahoman taxpayers, are plaintiffs in OKPLAC v. Oklahoma Statewide Charter School Board, a separate lawsuit in Oklahoma state court challenging the charter school board鈥檚 approval of St. Isidore鈥檚 application to become a public school. That case is on hold while the case before the U.S. Supreme Court is being resolved. The plaintiffs in OKPLAC are represented by Americans United for Separation of Church and State, the 吃瓜直播, Education Law Center, and Freedom From Religion Foundation, with support from Oklahoma-based counsel Odom & Sparks PLLC and J. Douglas Mann. The organizations issued the following statement: 鈥淭he law is clear: Charter schools are public schools and must be secular and open to all students. The Oklahoma Supreme Court correctly found that the state鈥檚 approval of a religious public charter school was unlawful and unconstitutional. We urge the U.S. Supreme Court to affirm that ruling and safeguard public education, church-state separation, and religious freedom for all. 鈥淥klahoma taxpayers, including our clients, should not be forced to fund a religious public school that plans to indoctrinate students into one religion and discriminate against students and staff. Converting public schools into Sunday schools would be a dangerous sea change for our democracy.鈥� In addition to OKPLAC, today鈥檚 amicus brief was filed on behalf of Melissa Abdo, Krystal Bonsall, Brenda Len茅, Michele Medley, Dr. Bruce Prescott, the Rev. Dr. Mitch Randall, the Rev. Dr. Lori Walke and Erika Wright. The team of attorneys that represents the amici is led by Alex J. Luchenitser of Americans United and includes Luke Anderson of Americans United; Daniel Mach and Heather L. Weaver of the 吃瓜直播; Robert Kim, Jessica Levin and Wendy Lecker of Education Law Center; Patrick Elliott of FFRF; Benjamin H. Odom, John H. Sparks, Michael W. Ridgeway, and Lisa M. Mason of Odom & Sparks; and J. Douglas Mann. -
Press ReleaseMar 2025
Religious Liberty
Oklahoma Supreme Court Blocks Superintendent Ryan Walters鈥� Attempts To Purchase Bibles And Bible-infused Instructional Materials. Explore Press Release.Oklahoma Supreme Court blocks Superintendent Ryan Walters鈥� attempts to purchase Bibles and Bible-infused instructional materials
Oklahoma City 鈥� In a victory for religious freedom, public education and church-state separation, the Oklahoma Supreme Court today temporarily blocked Oklahoma Superintendent of Public Instruction Ryan Walters and the Oklahoma State Department of Education (OSDE) from spending taxpayer dollars on Bibles and Bible-infused instructional materials. The order came in the lawsuit Rev. Lori Walke v. Ryan Walters, which was filed in October 2024 on behalf of 32 Oklahoma families, teachers and faith leaders. The plaintiffs are represented by Americans United for Separation of Church and State, the 吃瓜直播, the 吃瓜直播 of Oklahoma Foundation, the Freedom From Religion Foundation and Oklahoma Appleseed Center for Law & Justice. The Court鈥檚 order temporarily stayed 鈥渨ork on any new request by the OSDE for the purchase of Bibles.鈥� In addition, the order paused work on a request for proposals issued by OSDE on February 21, 2025. This request for proposals sought suppliers for 鈥渟upplemental instructional materials that effectively integrate the Bible and character education into elementary-level social studies curriculum.鈥� The organizations representing the plaintiffs will continue fighting Walters鈥� Bible-education mandate and additional filings are expected soon. They issued the following joint statement on the win: 鈥淭his victory is an important step toward protecting the religious freedom of every student and parent in Oklahoma. Superintendent Ryan Walters has been abusing his power and the court checked those abuses today. Our diverse coalition of families and clergy remains united against Walters鈥檚 extremism and in favor of a core First Amendment principle: the separation of church and state.