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I was shot multiple times by police and then unlawfully thrown in jail to cover up the excessive force violation. I am a 34-year-old Black man. I was charged with aggravated assault, but I never hurt anyone. I was hurt plenty, though. Police do fucked up shit and get away with it, and people need to hold them accountable to make society better as a whole. There鈥檚 no accountability when it comes to police or jail staff. In order for any society to function, there has to be accountability on both sides. What if somebody didn鈥檛 do nothing wrong and you鈥檙e covering it up? That means corruption just kills the system, everything that was meant to be good. I understand that officers risk their lives, they wake up every day and take on a challenge to make sure everyone is safe. That is an honorable act. But when you have people who lie or misuse their power, and another person helps them support that wrong action, that brings shame upon every good police officer. It brings shame on every department. In order for something to be built, something has to be destroyed, and this jail鈥檚 administration has to be destroyed. We're too far along as a society to continue to be submerged in the wrongs and the corruptions, instead of to stand for what's right.

After I got shot, those bullets shattered my foot and messed up my bowels. I鈥檓 still dealing with obstructions and I walk with a limp that only gets worse every day. I keep putting in sick calls; they don鈥檛 care. Since I鈥檝e been inside, I鈥檝e used a wheelchair, a walker, and then a cane. I still need the cane, but it disappeared when I went to solitary and I haven鈥檛 had it since. With the pain in my foot, getting around is really hard. I鈥檝e stopped using my recreation hour, the only one I get out of my cell every day, because I鈥檓 afraid to get hurt even worse. Having a cell with grab bars in the bathroom would make me feel safer, but there鈥檚 only two of those on the pod and guys have to buy their way in. We don鈥檛 have any handicap showers, either. Once you go to jail, you get denied medical treatment. These are the people who are supposed to care for you. They take on a leadership role to care for you, but they don鈥檛 do it. It鈥檚 deception. That鈥檚 not a society that I want to live in or one that I think anyone else wants to live in.

There鈥檚 no difference between what the police did to me and what鈥檚 happening in jail: the non-caring, the covering up, the assaults, being put in the hole. It鈥檚 not a different society. I just came off a five-month stint in solitary. Let me tell you 锛� it鈥檚 petrifying. The constant dimness, the blood and vomit covering the cells, the neglect and abuse from guards. It鈥檚 terrible to be going through all of that. Especially for someone with mental illness like me, the hole is no joke. I have PTSD, severe depression, antisocial disorder, anxiety, and paranoid schizophrenia. Everything about being in here just makes it worse. I went on a hunger strike a few months back to protest how bad things are, and they threw me in a suicide cell under a freezing cold vent to stop me from protesting. At one point, I was too sick to stand when the guards told me to and they tased me and shot me with pepperball bullets instead of calling medical. If you have a mental health crisis, they respond with force and shoot you with pepperballs. I haven鈥檛 had the chance to talk to a therapist since I鈥檝e been in here, but I guess I鈥檒l keep asking. I don鈥檛 know how I鈥檓 supposed to be 鈥渞ehabilitated鈥� like this.

It鈥檚 just one big system to eradicate everyone鈥檚 rights. If someone violated those rights and there鈥檚 evidence to support that, that person has to be held accountable. The only way we can address this problem is by coming together. It鈥檚 linked to the outside with police misconduct and what happened to Breonna Taylor. How long can we expect people to peacefully protest when their rights are violated? I wish people understood that jail isn鈥檛 really what they think it is; it鈥檚 a fa莽ade. This place isn鈥檛 meant to help you get better. When I was in solitary, I did ask for help but it never came. I was left in a cell, spitting up blood, laying in my own vomit, to die. If it wasn鈥檛 for certain medical staff who went against the norm and upheld their oath to provide adequate medical treatment despite officers telling them, 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not the way we do things here,鈥� I wouldn鈥檛 be alive.

I鈥檓 not the only one who feels this way. I try to help others write their grievances and get some justice, but it just puts an even bigger target on my back. I won鈥檛 stop doing it, though. It鈥檚 sad that the people in charge of taking care of us abuse that power rather than help us like they should. It鈥檚 not nothing to play with. People in here are being beaten, abused, and left to die. We need people; we need you. Too many people see history as just that 锛� in the past. They don鈥檛 realize that history is now.

Note: This piece was originally published in .